Dynamic Duo Tapped to Protect World Capital in Haiti

"We have another natural disaster of biblical proportions and, once again, capital floods a sovereign people's life... the capital will demand a profitable return and the Haitian people will continue their long history of enslavement." DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The President "Hopie" Obama announced that America's Dynamic Pluto-Duo, The Triangulator and Puppet Boy, will be the official Face of profitization efforts in Haiti. "We don't know the true identity of these 'Avengers of Capital Destruction,' but we do know they will protect the Plutocrats of the World from a non-profit Haitian 'voodoo' economy," stated the President. 

The Triangulator, known for his super human ability for double talk, stated, "They can escape their history and build a better future.”  Casually claiming, “The Haitians want to just amend their development plan to take account of what's happened in Port-au-Prince and west.”  In Triangulation speak this translates to, "We have a clean slate, local government is wiped out, the citizens are desperate and the real estate is cleared for development." 

Concerned that profits on blankets and water would be diminished, Puppet Boy stated, "I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water," adding a pitch for investment capital, "Just send your cash!"   Puppet Boy became an American Super Pluto-Hero when he was successfully dispatched to locate Venture Terrorist for the War on Terror.

In a related statement, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, stated, "We have another natural disaster of biblical proportions and, once again, capital floods a sovereign people's life.  After the media has sated it's hunger for marketable content and the public relations benefits of corporate altruism fades, the capital will demand a profitable return and the Haitian people will continue their long history of enslavement."  

"Prior to recent events Haiti was a humanitarian crises and natural disaster waiting to happen, where were the mass efforts to raise the standard of living, to build safe domiciles and to respect them as Human Beings deserving of the full benefits of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of happiness?"

NOTES:

Democracy Now! - Naomi Klein Issues Haiti Disaster Capitalism Alert: Stop Them Before They Shock Again

http://www.democracynow.org/2010/1/14/naomi_klein_issues_haiti_disaster_capitalism

Washington Post - From Haiti's ruins, a chance to rebuild a nation -  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/16/AR2010011601848.html?hpid=topnews

The Peoples Voice - Disaster Capitalism Headed to Haiti - http://www.thepeoplesvoice.org/TPV3/Voices.php/2010/01/18/disaster-capitalism-headed-to-haiti

The Daily Beast - The Cynical Bush Clinton Show - http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-01-18/the-cynical-bush-clinton-show/2/