"I would like to congratulate Mr. Beck, his staff and the fine people at Fox News. Also, respect goes out to Lord Rupert "LongHeaps" Murdoch for his ongoing efforts in supporting the misinformation industry.
Lastly, To the fine people at Media Matters, Are you Beck-Fucking me? Glenn "LobotoMary" Beck, I have forgotten more misinformation then he will ever spew. I demand a recount!"
Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The Plutocracy applauded a child obesity reduction initiative announcement by Ken "Sticky Fingers" Lewis, Chairman of the Masters of the Universe Counsel on Keeping Yours Ours Unendingly, known as MUCK YOU. "We are proud to claim 17 million American households enrolled in the program to rid youngsters of the scourge of obesity," Lewis reported.
In a carefully calibrated effort the Plutocracy organized an income redistribution plan shifting 16% of American income to the top 1% over thirty years. "The program has been highly effective in reducing the caloric intake that is the demon of childhood obesity," Lewis proudly stated. Further adding, "In Philadelphia 'one in five homes with a baby or toddler do not have enough food' to allow obesity to set in."
The Plutocracy supported both Democratic and Republican politicians in the large scale bi-partisan legislative effort to enact the program. "With the help of Capital Hill we succeeded in the redistribution of income required to save our children... it's for the children," denoted the MUCK YOU Chairman.
"This redistribution stinks of Plutocracy," declared DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy. "Governments are formed for a singular function: the redistribution of assets as mandated by the Sovereign. The People are Sovereign in America and therefore redistribution should only be effected to protect their Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness"
Calling for MoRevolution, DonJon added, "This constitutes an illegal taking, The Plutocracy has redistributed the earnings of The People's economy to themselves. It will not stand!"
SOURCES:
Washington Post: Missing more than a meal - http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/11/AR2009121102697.html?sid%3DST2009121103445
DonJon hosted the Certified Vagina Whisperer MoOpen at Hidden Dunes where he competed in a mixed foursome with Tiger "Long Baller" Woods. Playing with Tiger was Rachel "U-Cheat'a" Uchitel. Known for her legendary slice, she is capable of taking both the back nine and the front nine. Joining DonJon in strokeplay were the Swizzle Sisters, conjoined twins Paris and Rehanna.
On the first hole Tiger pulled out his stiff tipped long wood. Using an interlocking grip, his backstroke accentuating the whippy shaft, he smoothly followed through with a quick release that rested just short of the hole. Admonishing Rachel to keep her "head down and legs spread wide", she strapped on a Big Bertha and hammered an explosive drive to the frog hair.
DonJon, known to fourball old school, used his bulger to find the sweet spot on the feathery, landing a plugged ball. Having shagged in the practice area the Swizzle Sister were anxious to get teed off. Preferring rough play, they asked DonJon for his driving mashie with a high flex point. After a few wild whiffs they stroked the whipping off the shaft.Consulting his stroke index for difficulty, Tiger punched Rachel's gap wedge short of the punch bowl and landed the pot bunker instead. Preferring a bump and run approach, Rachel took a gimmie after Tiger lipped the hole.
DonJon, using revolutionary technique, caressed the feathery with a niblick just lightly rimming out the hole. The Swizzle Sisters, playing aggressively with DonJon's bag, chunked the guttie with the rut iron pulling a worm burner hole high.
Both resting on the carpet in a stymie and only two strokes off the tournament record, tensions were high between DonJon and Tiger. With putters in hand, they carefully plum bobbed the hole. Tiger confidently approached, but stroked his putter errantly and their balls collided. Awkwardly moving to replace their balls DonJon and Tiger crossed shafts.
The gallery, stunned by the foul, reported the move to the press. Although DonJon denies any intentional contact, he has offered the following statement to his fans.
"I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my shaft crossing has caused to so many people, most of all my fans and the Merry Molochsters. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I've done, but I want to do my best to try.
I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at Moloch the Plutocracy, my bohemian partners, the CVWA Tour, and my fellow vagina whisperers, for their understanding. What's most important now is that the Merry Molochsters have the time, privacy, and safe haven they will need for personal healing.
After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional vagina whispering. I need to focus my attention on being a better publisher, molochster, and bohemian.
Again, I ask for privacy for the Merry Molochsters and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.
Thank you for your understanding. DonJon, CVW."
The Certified Vagina Whisperer Association (CVWA) has not issued a statement. DonJon is the leading tour whisperer in strokeplay championships and all time skins winner. His departure from the tour is certain to cause turmoil for the association, his sponsors and the network distributors.
"the Plutonomies... will likely see even more income inequality, disproportionately feeding off a further rise in the profit share in their economies."
"in the early 20th century capital income was the big chunk for the top 0.1% of households, the resurgence in their fortunes since the mid-eighties was mainly from over sized salaries."
"They are also gaining strength in the emerging world... Society and governments need to be amenable to disproportionately allow/encourage the few to retain that fatter profit share."
"a threat comes from the potential social backlash... (if) the invisible hand stops working. (If) enough of the electorate believe they have a chance of becoming a Pluto-participant. Why kill it off, if you can join it? "
Chelsea Hotel (MP) - Ensconced in luxury at Sussex South Lodge country house, world PlutoBankers debated the continuity the Plutonomy at the Future of Finance Initiative conference organised by The Wall Street Journal. Clear signs of division within the ranks of the Plutocracy were reported from behind the ancient ivy covered walls.
The Former Federal Reserve Chairman, Paul "Big Paulie" Volker, chastised the PlutoBankers for failing to understand their greed was seeding economic revolution, “Has there been one financial leader to say this is really excessive? Wake up, gentlemen. Your response, I can only say, has been inadequate.” As the attendants demanded that regulation not stifle innovation, he went on to deride them claiming their biggest innovation was the cash machine.
Later Sir Deryck "Sir D" Maughan, partner in Masters of the Universe Kohlberg Kravis Roberts, warned, “The asymmetry will not hold. I’m not sure we’ve thought about that.”
Ruffled by the admonishments, the PlutoBankers huddled to find new ways to continue their domination of the world economy. But just as the conference broke up news of further division rankled the feathers of the financial birds of prey. The chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair "My Darling Alistair" Darling, announced a one-time tax on bank bonuses in an effort to shore up the British economy. Banks will be charged a 50 percent tax on 2009 bonuses of more than £25,000 or $40,800.
DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, claimed the Plutocrat's anxiety expected, "Their Plutonomy is backed by the 'Propaganda Standard' rather than anything of social value. The world monetary system is a ticking time bomb and they know it." DonJon further declared, "Time is ripe for MoRevolution."
Citigroup: Plutonomy Report #1
London Times - ‘Wake up, gentlemen’, world’s top bankers warned by former Fed chairman Volcker
New York Times - Britain to Levy a One-Time Tax on Banker Bonuse
