Sunday, March 28, 2010

DonJon's Masquerade of Fools


"Bring yo fool ass to dis party, fool!" Mr. T 


English Translation

April Fools Mask Party @ DonJon's Place
302 East 53rd Street
Austin, TX 78751
April Fools Night, April 1st, 2010

7:00 pm 
Until the Lord of MisRule
is Anointed, so be Foolish.

The Grills will be hot and chicken, beef, port provided
along with Beans & Rice.
But, we ask that you bring a small 
Potluck Side Dishes & Dessert.

BYOB

Wear a Mask

Canceled for Rain

RSVP - Please
modonjon@gmail.com 

Fwd: Art,Don't be Stupid!

EMAILS FROM THE ECCENTRIC PUBLISHER

To: Arthur "O'Clueless One" Sulzberger, Jr. Publisher, New York Times:
Fr: DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy:
Re: Old Gray Lady Older and Grayer

Get the Times with the times Dude!  It's becoming an old hag.  I write this knowing it will be lost in the digital pile of trash... but, that begs my point.  

Three times now I have tried to comment on opinion pieces and it says "Comments are no longer being accepted."  Please excuse the language as it is for effect;  I am a former transplanted New Yorker... Are you fucking stupid?  Why would you reject any comments... come on.  I am sure you have your logical reasons.  But they cannot override the upside of collecting all the ones and zeros you can.  I offer three  reasons you should reverse this policy now...

1. Comments make people feel a part of the story as opposed to being a passive consumer... Consumption of news is becoming a Hot medium... Re-read your McLuhan.  Readers are going to gravitate more and more to those that service this desire.  You Loose, Ariana Wins... Ha, and you do all the heavy lifting.  Are you fucking stupid?

2. Comments give people (the teeming masses) immortality... that they will live on in opinion.  That when the" last ding-dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking. (digitally)"  Those that offer eternity will survive, not those that turn it away.  Are you Fucking Stupid?

3. News is collected one letter, word, sentence at a time and presents itself when relevant.  Until then you don't know when, where or how... you are not the creator, merely the collector.  When history unfolds and the next Martin Luther King, Jr. and James Earl Ray present themselves, who will have collected their opinions, words, ones and zeros?  It seems it will not be the Times.  Are you FUCKING STUPID?

Please send my consulting check to the Chelsea Hotel, I am 

sincerely,

DonJon.

PS: I am very hung over today, please excuse my poorly written offering of eternal blather.   

--
DonJonVonavich HRH King of Mo 
Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy
The Vicar of Vice
The Last of the Bohemians

Facebook: DonJon Vonavich
MySpace: DonJon08
Twitter: DonJon2012
Voice: 405.4MOLOCH

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tarantino Writing Republican Response to ObamaCare

"They want to Shaft the American People," DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - Republican congressmen promoted Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill two-part action thriller film series from the Speaker's Balcony.  The epic-length revenge drama has become the working strategy for Republican opposition to President "Hopie" Obama's legislative agenda.  "Quentin agreed to write our response," states Minority Leader John "The Orange Shaft" Boehner, "You see this Tea Party is a bad mother—Shut yo mouth!"    

Asked for comment, Tarantino offered, "I wanted to play on the Blaxploitation genre, the cast has really taken it to new creative heights."    


Pressed for comment, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, merely offered, "They want to Shaft the American People." 


NOTES:

  1. Crooks and Liars - http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2010/03/25/2242298.aspx







Wednesday, March 24, 2010

LobotoMary Beck Ratcheting Up Fear of Human Progress

"Beck will be escorted off stage in a straight jacket soon," DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - Glenn "LobotoMary" Beck has been ratcheting up the fear mongering after the signing of health care reform on Tuesday.  The Lobotomites, Beck's lobotomized hoard of worshipful followers, "have been blowing their stitches," claims undisclosed sources behind the white tiled walls where they are keep between protest rallies.  Beck commands the Lobotomites from his bunker at Foxy Newsy "hows that working out for ya" Network.



Foxy Newsy is owned by Lord Rupert "Long Heaps" Murdoch.  In an effort to control the Mis-information Industry, Murdoch invested in technology to perform surgical lobotomies via cable.  The procedure is technically termed a Media-Delivered Surgical Lobotomy, referred to in the Mis-Information Industry as a Media-botomy.

Beck creates his ideas each morning by, "pounding his head and vomiting for four hours."  He claims the ritual connects him to his higher self, "I once used Everclear to find enlightenment, now I can induce it on command."   

Beck has had his magic chalk board in over-drive this week urging the Lobotomites to violent revolution, claiming, "This is the biggest thing we have ever faced. This is our Pearl Harbor, our Normandy, our Custer's Last Stand."  

In an effort to pinpoint their enemy, he offer that Progressives are "the California hippie Marxist Socialist Communist Progressive, sticking flowers in the barrel, sitting around smokin' dope all day during college and talkin' about how they can destroy the evil American empire," in laymen terms, the ones having fun.  In addition they have developed a Historical Progressive Hit list to discredit the movement in history.

- The Lobotomite Progressive Hit List - 
Puke vile rubbish when these names are mentioned



A Statement released by DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, offers, "LobotoMary Beck is over the top, he will be escorted off stage in a straight jacket soon." 

NOTES:


  1. Crooks and Liars - http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/glenn-becks-eliminationist-attacks-p
  2. Houston ExaminerGlen Beck says progressives must be eradicated 
  3. Alternet - Is Glen Beck Breeding Domestic Violence?
  4. Crooks and Liarshttp://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/beck-goes-nuts-over-hcr-concludes-ev


Monday, March 15, 2010

DonJon Offers Likeness for Fifty Dollar Note

"If mediocrity is the qualification, I have it in abundance,"  DonJon.


Chelsea Hotel (MP) - DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy has offered his likeness for the Fifty dollar Federal Reserve Note.  His offer is a compromise to settle the dispute between the Ulysses S. Grant and Ronald Reagan factions.  "Grant was a renowned drunk and Reagan an mediocre actor, I am both and a mildly notable misfit to boot," claims DonJon. "If mediocrity is the qualification, I have it in abundance." 

The Not-so-Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben "The Consigliere" Bernanke stated, "DonJon claims he will  'collapse the monetary system as we know it,' his likeness on our notes would certainly do that." 





NOTES:

New York TimesWho’s Buried in the History Books?
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/14/opinion/14wilentz.html?pagewanted=1&ref=general&src=me






Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Queen Limbaugh, "Let them eat Applesauce"

"Let Queen Limbaugh EAT SHIT!" DonJon.


Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The Queen of the Illiteratti, Rush Limbaugh, offered his solution to protecting the Right-to-life of those without health care.  The Illiteratti are those subjects living in the Limbaugh Realm of Illiterate Illusion.  

Wearing a beautiful ceremonial gown and royal tiarra, he pronounced to the gathered hoard of Illiteratti at his feet, "Qu'ils mangent de la puree de pommes."  Translated to english as, "Let them eat applesauce."   

Queen Limbaugh was commenting on the report offered by Congress-Wiesel Louise Slaughter that a subject was using her dead sister's dentures.  "What's wrong with using a dead person's teeth? Aren't the Democrats big into recycling?" the Queen declared and the Illiteratti roared with laughter on command.  

The Queen went on to lambaste another subject about breaking his wrist if he couldn't afford care, pronouncing, "Didn't lil' Stephen Colbert solve this problem already?"

In a related statement, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, offered, "Laisser Limbaugh de Reine Mange de la Merde... translate this." 



NOTES:

  1. New York Times - http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/26/health/policy/26health.html?ref=us
  2. Crooks & Liars - "Let them Eat Applesauce," Limbaugh