NOTICE: THIS DOCUMENT HAS BEEN REDACTED BY HOMELAND SECURITY
For Immediate Release
Handled Messiahs Public Relations
Harry Martini, PRG
DonJon Releases End-of-the-World Campaign Apologia... Ah, Book
In an effort to persuade voters in the 2012 presidential election to support his 2012 End-of-the-World campaign, DonJonVonavich has release a compilation of his breath-taking oratory, cock-hardening political journalism, and award-seeking documentary graphics. The book, titled Moloch the Plutocracy ~or~ How the MoRevolution will sink the ship, break the bank, and fuck the trophy wife (or husband) of the 1%, is available both in black and white text and full-color graphic versions exclusively from The Molocratic Press.
DonJon is the Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, a political pamphlet that supports the policies of Molocratic governance. He has also been nominated as the 2012 presidential candidate for the Molocratic Party, America’s only multi-level-marketing political party. Party members are offered New World Order Distributorships that pay residual income on unlimited Patriot Down-lines up to thirteen Colonial Levels deep, and can qualify for Brotherhood Recruiting Bonuses.
At the printing of this book DonJon finds himself essentially homeless, hopelessly unemployed, and dependent on the ‘Government Cheese,’ “The timing could not be more perfect for a serious run for President,” DonJon claims. “This book is a primer for those that want to understand my political persuasions, provocations, and postulations... and support my dream addiction.”
America’s oldest manufacturer of toilets, American Standard, has listed the book #2 on their Best Bathroom Readers List. Number #1 on the highly influential list is the Republican presidential nominee Mitt “Insert Nickname Here” Romney’s book, No Apology - The Case for American Greatness. Bain Capital, Mitt Romney’s former private equity firm and a major shareholder in American Standard Brands, has sued the United Toilet Glazers Union on grounds they orchestrated a voter fraud scheme that put DonJon’s book on the list. President Barak “Hopie” Obama’s book, Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance, has not fared as well on the list with readers giving it three shit-stains.
“We are excited that American Standard supports DonJon,” Claims Lewis “Crystal Ball” Crystal, CEO of Avenue U Publications and co-publisher of the book. “Our investment in the urine-resistant book cover has paid off.”
Send all Press Inquiries to:
Handled Messiahs Public Relations
Harry Martini, PRG
405.466.5624
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