"How can our representatives dawdle while lives are at stake?" DonJon.
Chelsea Hotel (MP) - Right-to-life futures surged on the Unalienable Rights Mercantile Exchange (RiteX) after the White House bipartisan health care summit. The price of 90 year maturity Right-to-life Futures Contracts (90-Lives) jumped 21% by the closing bell on Friday. Traders were betting on the failure of health care legislation to protect citizens unalienable right-to-life. 90-Lives futures contracts price the likelihood of citizens living beyond 90 years.
At the RiteX Opening Bell the price of 90-Lives Futures Contracts were $19,821.21, by the closing they had jumped to $20,230.21. Right-to-life Commodities Trader, Rufus Tufus, was in the trading pit, "None'a these fools gonna live to 90... we in da money, Dog... crazy fuck'rs ain't gonna reform no health care! CHA CHING Mu'thur Fuck'rrr."
RiteX Commissioner, Former President George "Waterboy" Bush, stated, "he he, free markets... he he, they will price life... only way... freedom, free markets... right Dick... Dick... DICK, where did Dick go?"
In a related statement, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, offered, "Life is not a commodity. This is a civil rights issue on the magnitude of American slavery, 45,000 die each year from lack of health care. How can our representatives dawdle while lives are at stake?"
NOTES:
- New York Times - http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/26/health/policy/26health.html?ref=us
- Crooks & Liars - "Let them Eat Applesauce," Limbaugh
No comments:
Post a Comment