Chelsea Hotel (MP) - A letter written by Tiger "Long Baller" Woods and delivered to Moloch the Plutocracy titled, One Spew Over the Clitberry Bush, describes an outrageous orgy incited by DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of this pamphlet and his Publicist, Harry Martini, Founder of Handled Messiahs Public Relations.
Woods was committed to the Pine Grove Sexitarium for the Carnally Corrupt in Hatisburg, MS., where, apparently, DonJon was admitted under the name Wandle Patwick McPwankster as a Registered Sex Offender on the planet Pandora. Woods has disappeared from Pine Grove and has not be seen since.
The Full Text of the Letter Follows:
One Spew Over the Clitberry Bush
From: Chief "Long Baller" Woods
To: Moloch the Plutocracy
I was committed to the Repeatedly Repeat Offenders Wing of the Pine Grove Sexitarium for the Carnally Corrupt for spewing my wad into more hookers, porn stars, gold diggers, groupies and roadies than my combined lifetime score in golf. The place is dismal in it's impotent beauty, sterile in it's lack of sexual emotion, decorated with refined monotone furnishings and bland facsimiles of art to appear inanimate and removed from the luscious movements of life. An impression that disguises the fact that it houses to the most perverted sex addicts and offenders in the Multiverse.
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