Childrens Right-to-life Futures Surge on News Policies Withheld

"Did anyone expect our insurance master to do the right thing, kids be damned." DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - Children's Right-to-life futures surged on the Unalienable Rights Mercantile Exchange (RiteX) after the announcement that major health insurance companies in California and other states have decided to stop selling policies for children rather than comply with a new federal healthcare law that bars them from rejecting youngsters with preexisting medical conditions.

The price of Sub-19 Right-to-life Futures Contracts (Sub19s) jumped 21% by the closing bell on Tuesday.  Traders were ecstatic that the insurance industry have taken a bold stand on profit by withholding health care from children under 19.  Sub19s futures contracts price the likelihood of children living to adulthood.

At the RiteX Opening Bell the price of Sub19s Futures Contracts were $19,821.21, by the closing they had jumped to $20,230.21.  Right-to-life Commodities Trader, Rufus Tufus, was in the trading pit, "Fool, insurance ain't gonna pay for no chill'ins health care... no snot nosed kids gonna steal corporate profits... we in da money, Dog... !  CHA CHING Mu'thur Fuck'rrr."

RiteX Commissioner, Former President George "Waterboy" Bush, stated, "he he, free markets...  he he, they will price kids lives... only way... freedom, free markets... right Dick... Dick... DICK, where did Dick go?"

In a related statement, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, offered, "Did anyone expect our insurance master to do the right thing, kids be damned." 

NOTES:

Los Angeles Times -Big health insurers to stop selling new child-only policies