DonJon's Word of the Day - Eristication

DonJon's Word of the Day

Eristication noun - 1. the nature of character that one argues that they are always correct regardless of the facts, (especially convincing to themselves). 2. Enough knowledge with a healthy dose of ignorance makes one an Eristicrat. 

Example Sentence: DonJon has so much Eristication, it makes me hot that he is right about everything!

The Eristicratic Oath

As many moronic, dumb ass, illiterate fools believe, the Eristicratic Oath was not authored by Eristicrates, the Father of Self Important Rhetoric.  It is believed to have been written by the ancient Lie-onian Greek Philosopher, Limbaugoras of Turgid, the founder of Limbaugoreanism.  Limbaugoreans believe that Self Important Rhetoric is the foundation of social truth and justice.

Modern Text of the Eristicratic Oath:

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my unquestionable ability and superior judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won rhetorical gains of those blathering bellicose fools whose steps I walk, and aggressively share our truthful knowledge with morons, wingnuts, moonbats, dumb asses, illiterati, lobotomites, genetic rubberneckers, and all else that don't agree with me.

I will apply, for the benefit of the stupid and ignorant, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of understatement and rhetorical nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to my obvious brilliance as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may never outweigh the correctness of my opinion.

I will be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I call in my colleagues when I am unsure of my knowledge, rather make it up with confidence and certainty.

I will never respect the privacy of the cretins that disagree with me, for their stupidity is up to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread carelessly in matters of life and death. If it is given me to that my words may save a life, whatever. But it is also within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility is very cool to have and must be faced with great arrogance and boldness of my own superiority. Above all, I must not only play at God, but, convince others my words are 'of God'.

I will remember that I do not care about poverty charts, or statistical human suffering, but idiotic sick human beings, whose pea brains may affect my life and that of my economic stability. 

I will prevent civil discourse whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to blathering stupidity.

I will remember that I remain true to my social constructions, with special obligations to force them on my fellow human beings, those empty of mind and weak of body as well as the scholarly assholes.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy pomposity and self importance, a legend in my own mind, respected by all while I live and remembered thereafter for my brilliance. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of talking down those who seek to interrupt.