Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Childrens Right-to-life Futures Surge on News Policies Withheld

"Did anyone expect our insurance master to do the right thing, kids be damned." DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - Children's Right-to-life futures surged on the Unalienable Rights Mercantile Exchange (RiteX) after the announcement that major health insurance companies in California and other states have decided to stop selling policies for children rather than comply with a new federal healthcare law that bars them from rejecting youngsters with preexisting medical conditions.

The price of Sub-19 Right-to-life Futures Contracts (Sub19s) jumped 21% by the closing bell on Tuesday. Traders were ecstatic that the insurance industry have taken a bold stand on profit by withholding health care from children under 19. Sub19s futures contracts price the likelihood of children living to adulthood.

At the RiteX Opening Bell the price of Sub19s Futures Contracts were $19,821.21, by the closing they had jumped to $20,230.21. Right-to-life Commodities Trader, Rufus Tufus, was in the trading pit, "Fool, insurance ain't gonna pay for no chill'ins health care... no snot nosed kids gonna steal corporate profits... we in da money, Dog... ! CHA CHING Mu'thur Fuck'rrr."

RiteX Commissioner, Former President George "Waterboy" Bush, stated, "he he, free markets... he he, they will price kids lives... only way... freedom, free markets... right Dick... Dick... DICK, where did Dick go?"

In a related statement, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, offered, "Did anyone expect our insurance master to do the right thing, kids be damned."

NOTES:

Los Angeles Times -Big health insurers to stop selling new child-only policies

Don't Ask Don't Tell Lifted for Plutocracy

"When the People finally realize the limitations money places on the advancement of the human condition wealth will be measured by the poor feed, the lives saved, and the happiness pursued by all." DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The Plutocracy is coming out of the closet. The long observed "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy on excess personal wealth is being lifted. "We have earned this obscene quantity of money and we are no longer ashamed of it," claimed Ken "Sticky Fingers" Lewis, Chairman of the Masters of the Universe Counsel on Keeping Yours Ours Unendingly, known as MUCK YOU.

Excess wealth has long been considered the "embarrassment of riches" and the Plutocracy had an informal policy to never discuss it outside of their own ranks. But, recently the discussion has entered the public discourse of the unwashed masses due to President "Hopie" Obama's desire to allow the Bush tax cuts for his fellow Plutocrats expire.

In his recent opinion post, Paul Krugman, stated "It’s one thing when a billionaire rants at a dinner event. It’s another when Forbes magazine runs a cover story alleging that the president of the United States is deliberately trying to bring America down as part of his Kenyan, “anticolonialist” agenda, that “the U.S. is being ruled according to the dreams of a Luo tribesman of the 1950s.”

"This is a clear case of discrimination, the wealthy are being unf

airly targeted," states Lewis. "This historic abuse of our of civil rights will not stand, we will walk out of our board rooms, mansions, country clubs, and beach homes to take to the streets to defend our right to steal, hoard, and repress."

Lewis confirmed MUCK YOU has created a political action committee to purchase national and local politicians. "Fortunately, our investment in the Supreme Court has paid off and we can now use our massive wealth to control the trolls in congress without limit."

In a statement released by DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of the Pamphlet, he stated, "When the People finally realize the limitations money places on the advancement of the human condition wealth will be measured by the poor feed, the lives saved, and the happiness pursued by all."

NOTES:

New York Times: Paul Krugman The Angry Rich

Forbes: How Obama Thinks

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tough Capitalist Love for One in Five Children

"the fact that the distribution of resources in the wealthiest nation in the world entertains poverty at this level is evidence of the failure of our social-economic order," DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The United States Census Bureau reported that Forty-four million people in the United States, or one in seven residents, lived in poverty in 2009, an increase of 4 million from the year before. The poverty rate climbed to 14.3 percent — the highest level since 1994 — from 13.2 percent in 2008. The rise was steepest for children, with one in five residents under 18 living below the official poverty line.

A concerned Plutocracy confirmed their commitment to their Tough Capitalist Love Program in rearing the children of the masses. Ken "Sticky Fingers" Lewis, Chairman of the Masters of the Universe Counsel on Keeping Yours Ours Unendingly, known as MUCK YOU, stated "the tough capitalist love approach is vital to raising children dedicated to the well being of the Plutocracy. One in five children are learning that a healthy and prosperous life is dependent on a vital respect for the imbalance of wealth," further stated Lewis.

For a single adult in 2009, the poverty line was $10,830 in pretax cash income; for a family of four, $22,050. "Poverty is a choice, personal responsibility requires they pull themselves up by their rotted bootstraps. They must learn that to get a greater share of the economy they will have to repress and steal from others, hoard public resources, and buy off politicians. Our Tough Capitalist Love Program is teaching slow learners the hard lessons of American life."

The number of residents without health insurance in 2009 climbed to 51 million, from 46 million in 2008. The share of children who were uninsured fell, though, reflecting an expansion of government health programs covering low-income children. MUCK YOU confirmed their disappointment that those enrolled in the Tough Capitalist Love program were getting subsidized health care. "We are spoiling our young people when health care is given to them with no profit," states Lewis, "our program works best when malnutrition is combined with a healthy dose of disease."

In a statement released by DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of the Pamphlet, he stated, "the fact that the distribution of resources in the wealthiest nation in the world entertains poverty at this level is evidence of the failure of our social-economic order."