SCOTUS, Inc to Partner with Healthcare Industrial Complex Corp

"This whole discussion is not about the Human right to life, but rather who will control it. "  DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - In an announcement that is certain to rock the  Unalienable Rights Mercantile Exchange (RitesX), SCOTUS, Inc. has announced a partnership with Healthcare Industrial Complex Corp (HICC) that will establish near total control over the unalienable right-to-life of American citizens. Details of the partnership are expected to be released in June of this year.

The partnership will enable unalienable right-to-life contracts to be bundled into traunches by life expectancy and traded on the RitesX. Currently, right-to-life contracts are traded by gender, race, and income, but the new partnership enables large bundles of life expectancy to be traded without details on gender, race, or income. "The new sub-right-to-life contracts create a more secure financial enviroment for traders," stated Antonin "Tone Deaf" Scalia, "by bundling sub-prime lives with higher-quality lives the risk of monetary loss is greatly reduced."

Right-to-life ratings agencies are expected to bless the contracts with a AAA rating allowing them to be purchased by major pension funds and other retirement funds targeting the elderly. "One's right-to-life cannot go on forever," stated Scalea, "The rating agencies know this." 

Right-to-life futures surged on the RitesX after the SCOTUS, Inc. announcement.  The price of 78 year maturity Right-to-life Futures Contracts (78-Lives) jumped 21% on Friday. At the RiteX Opening Bell the price of 78-Lives futures contracts were $19,821, by the closing they had jumped to $21,821.  Traders were betting on the partnership between SCOTUS and HICC to add large profits to the bottom line by reducing the burden of extending citizens right-to-life beyond 78 years, the current US life expectancy: the lowest in the industrialized world.

Right-to-life Commodities Trader, Rufus Tufus, was in the trading pit, "None'a dese fools gonna live past 78... we in da money, dog... crazy fuck'rs ain't gonna extend no mo right-to-life... cost to damn much!  CHA CHING Mu'thur Fuck'rrr."

In a related statement, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, offered, "This whole discussion is not about the Human right of life, but rather who will control it."