Chelsea Hotel (MP)- DonJon’s planetary demise policy outlined in the Molocratic Party platform has the major party candidates rushing to follow suit with their versions of the end-of-the-world. The single plank platform of the Molocratic Party declares December 21, 2012 the end-of-the-world. The party nominee, DonJon Vonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, has stated his agreement with his party and made the platform the driving theme of his end-of-the-world presidential campaign. The Obama and Romney campaigns were caught flat footed on the issue and have both made efforts to show their support for the end-of-the-world. Romney has been the most vocal in his support of end times by offering a defiant stance on global warming, “My view is that we don’t know what is causing climate change on this planet and the idea of spending trillions and trillions of dollars to try and reduce CO2 emissions is not the right course for us.” The Republican nominee added, “And I agree with DonJon, if it worked it could delay the end-of-the-world.”
Although the Democratic Platform declares climate change “one of the biggest threats of this generation,” the Obama campaign modified the party’s position by adding, “but, so what.” The President’s campaign is showing its support by ignoring the obvious signs of end times; record Arctic ice melt, record heat, unusual species migration, peak oil, and rising sea levels. “We think the best defense is a good half time show,” states David “Shakedown” Axelrod.
Alpha Bravo, DonJon’s campaign mis-manager, offered a statement, “We are on top of this end-of-the-world shit. Global warming, nuclear fallout, ocean acidification, economic meltdown, natural resource depletion, NFL replacement referees, transmutational space midgets... DonJon’s for it all.” Adding a challenge to the major party candidates, “My candidate stands ready to discuss the advancement of the end-times with those spineless buffoons anytime.”
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