Commodities Exchange Halts Trading on Free Speech

"...the Voice of the People has been diminished to White Noise behind the Concert of Corporate Speech," DonJon.

Yesterday the Unalienable Rights Mercantile Exchange (RiteX) temporarily halted trading in US Free Speech after the price more than tripled in three hours.  The Stampeding Bull Market was released by the recent Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission conferring Corporate Citizens, Labor Unions and Organizations the same free speech rights as Natural Citizens.  The Ruling reversed a One Hundred Year Precedent.

At the RiteX Opening Bell the price of 90-Day-US-Free-Speech Futures Contracts (US-Frees) were $398.21 per syllable, three hours into the trading day they had tripled to $1,209.21 before the RiteX abruptly halted trading.  Free Speech Commodities Trader, Rufus Tufus, was in the trading pit when the frenzy began, "Dog, it was Fuck'n Crazy... Every 'G' wus long dong'n US Frees... We talk'n Big Mu'thur Fuck'n Bling."

RiteX Commissioner, Former President George "Waterboy" Bush, stated, "Ah, speech is free... The market is free... ah, I am free, ah... You are free.  Ah, Watch what you say if you want to stay free, he he."  Asked when the RiteX would resume trading US Frees, the RiteX Commissioner said, "Aaahhh, It's Closed?"

US Free Speech brokers have reported that Worldwide Buy Orders have poured in from New World Order Corporate Citizens.  "Ah, anyone should be able to buy US Free Speech, not just US Citizens, or something," the RiteX Commissioner added.

In a related statement, DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, denounced the ruling as, "A travesty, the Voice of the People has been diminished to White Noise behind the Concert of Corporate Speech." 

NOTES:

1. New York Times - Justices Overturn Key Campaign Limits
2. The Washing Post - The Supreme Court removes important limits on campaign finance
3. AlterNet - Supreme Court's 'Radical and Destructive' Decision Hands Over Democracy to the Corporations
4. Citizen Works - Why Corporate Personhood Matters and What it Means