Plutocracy Unleashes Billions on a Grateful Citizenry

"The Pursuit of Happiness demands a living wage for all," DonJon.

Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The report that one-in-eight Americans are relying on food stamps has the Plutocracy formulating a fiscal stimulus plan to help the bottom 99% eat cake. Ken "Sticky Fingers" Lewis, Chairman of the Masters of the Universe Counsel on Keeping Yours Ours Unendingly, known as MUCK YOU, recently announced a new stimulus plan.

The Reluctant Economic Re-ReDistribution Trickle Down Temporary Stimulus, referred to by MUCK YOU as Re-ReTrick,

has the top 1% investing heavily in the necessary industries required to protect the inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness. "We have targeted the industries that are important to the quality of life that America has become accustomed," states Lewis, "housing, transportation, food and clothing are priorities of the Re-ReTrick Program."

The first tranche of significant Plutocratic spending has begun to stimulate the economy. As reported by the Wall Street Journal: "From $15,000-a-week Caribbean getaways to art auctions to $200,000 platinum wristwatches that automatically adjust for leap years, signs of the good life are returning."

"Jobs are also a priority of Re-ReTrick," claims the MUCK YOU Chairman, "We are investing heavily in the sequined ball gown industry...Do you know how much labor is required to apply thousands of sequines?"

Manufacturing jobs are not the only target of Re-ReTrick, they are stimulating the service industries as well. "The main stream media is not reporting on the devastating effect the recession has had on the service sector," states Lewis, "Bathroom attendant jobs have been eviscerated... MUCK YOU members are having to reach public bathroom towels is distressing... This a direct usurpation of our inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness."

The Trillion Dollar cost of the Re-ReTrick stimulus plan has some Plutocrats concerned. Lewis explains, "Yes, the money is significant, this is why the MUCK YOU board has approved invoicing our largest client, the United States Government, in advance."

As the new year enters, the top 1% will be entrusted with stimulus money in the form of bonuses to invest in the global economy. "We expect the return of American prosperity... MUCK YOU has already ordered the cake!" declares Sticky Fingers Lewis.

"It is not cake that the People deserve, rather the bounty that we and our forbears struggled to create and protect," stated DonJonVonavich, Eccentric Publisher of Moloch the Plutocracy, "The Pursuit of Happiness demands a living wage for all."

Food Stamp Use Soars, and Stigma Fades: New York Times

Shhh! Wall Street is Spending Again: Wall Street Journal

The Most Expensive Cake in the World: YouTube